Passing Judgment

It seems to me more people are looking around and pointing fingers at everyone else rather than focusing on their own shortcomings. Why do so many people care about what others are doing and the decisions they make? Why are there so many judgmental people? Am I being judgmental by “calling out” these people??? The fact of the matter is, if more people would concentrate on themselves and their relationship with God, this world would be a kinder, gentler, and more peaceful place.

This past week, I was judged for something my 12 year old daughter did. Really???? My daughter makes her own choices. She is responsible enough and ethical enough to choose her way in life. I believe I have raised her (and am still raising her) the way I am supposed to. I have equipped her with the tools to face the world and most of life’s difficulties. She is far too old to have me holding her hand as she makes some of life’s hardest decisions, especially when it comes to friends. If I am there to catch her every time she falls, then what lesson has she learned? She has to make her own mistakes and learn from them. Although I may not agree with every decision, I will stand by her as she makes it, and then comfort her when she falls. But I refuse to baby her. Any issues that arise between her and her friends are THEIR issues. I refuse to get involved. She is old enough to create, nurture, and treasure meaningful relationships.

I also had the pleasure of justifying my recent move. I was halfway through the explanation of why I moved (into a much nicer, bigger house) when I realized I did not owe my ex ANY type of explanation. As he walked away, judging me under his breath, I thought to myself “You are not God; therefore you do not have the right to judge me!”

I also had someone call me an adulterer and a manipulator. At first I started to get upset and hurt that this person would stoop to such a low level. Are we still in high school? Then I realized the simple fact that anyone who knows me also knows I am anything but this type of person. And obviously this person does not know both sides of the divorce story. Nor does he have all of the facts. But that is not my place. As much as I wanted to tell this person everything my ex did to me, I knew it wouldn’t be right. As much as I wanted to prove this person wrong, and divulge things he would cringe to know about my ex, I decided it was best that I just leave it alone and walk away.

When I look at these people who judge me the harshest, I realize these are the people that are too afraid to deal with their own demons, that they throw judgment onto others. In each case, I had to step back and consider the source of the judgments. Each of the “judges” is so unhappy with themselves, that they feel the need to judge me, my life, and my kids. So, each night I pray for each of them. I pray they will find happiness, release their demons, extend forgiveness, and focus forward towards a true and meaningful relationship with God. Only then will they realize it is not their place to judge others.